Entry #4-Have your cake and eat that 1,000 calories per a slice too & finally…forgiveness has two sides yet they are both the same.

I recently have been bombarded by several awkward & strange nightmares for the past month or what seemed like for eternity. All of these dreams amounting to the same problem that I had in my existing life. These nightmares were about a certain ex-friend that liked to put me down in front of others, drive me somewhere then ditch both my boyfriend & I in the middle of nowhere, and I am pretty sure he has sabotaged my relationship with my boyfriend to relinquish him back into bachelorhood and possibly take me up for grabs. He’s hasn’t exactly been a good friend or a friend in general, he had a temper and the tendency to make fun of everyone at everyone’s expense until everyone revolted against him and hence creating a ‘man-slut’ of him. He bangs to fill in the part of his heart that’s empty. For me, it didn’t seem all that bad in the light but considering he did start making fun of my future profession and fashion all in all, really bit down on the proverbial leather belt. That I cannot forgive.
There is also a few relatives in my dreams that needed a few words from me, it’s been months since we last spoke, we even foregone Christmas and birthdays. They let me down, lied, betrayed and backstabbed a little more than once, all in sake for drug-ridden sibling of mine; a sibling with no future that lives off a fake hurt limb which produces his bountiful unemployment checks. How pathetic. This sibling ruined my only chance of going back to college to finish off my design degree and his crazy girlfriend dumped all my belongings in the front yard of MY house, where I live! To top it off, I was the one that got in trouble and my sibling sold me out with additional lies to set me up. The sibling I could not forgive, it was ultimate betrayal to me, but the relatives I could speak to I suppose. Mostly due to the fact that my cute 5 inch heel espadrille wedges and my oh-so-perfect black suede ‘never been worn’ thigh-high boots were in my old closet at their house prompted my immediate attention. I mean, c’mon! Spring is almost here! I can bite the bullet momentarily and save my shoes here!
So it was decided, I would forgive my relatives and possibly forgive an old dog and his dirty tricks even though he has no idea who Rei Kawakubo is and probably thinks Emporio Armani and Giorgio Armani are brothers…forgiveness is forgiveness. It doesn’t mean I would have to let these horrid people back in my life, I would just say hi to them and forget our toxic relationships past. And I get to finally see my boots & espadrilles!

To add more to my spirits, I went shopping yesterday and bought the most perfect sweater for spring, it had giant fabric flowers to the side, with silver & diamond detailed buttons and the color just blew my mind, in Mimosa Yellow! This year’s color! I also bought a gold chain-tassel belt that was very John Galliano RTW FALL/WINTER ’09, you know, the iconic Russian inspired cinch belts holding up those crystallized icy garments. I even found two dresses that emulated the shapes down DKNY & Peter Som’s RTW FALL/WINTER runway. I am seriously in love with schiaparelli silhouettes and fur neck scarves.
Oh and I bought a tight knit black skirt, two seriously perfectly decorated shirts (one with blossoming white roses on collar, very YSL with the billowy white bows re-working the white collared shirt) and one with a gray & white collage of a floral dynasty, I am so ready for Spring, even with a one-track Winter mind like myself. I literally spent under 60 dollars, god bless super savings week at New York & Company and my amazing employee discount…seriously I got like 55% off plus additional 45% off. I was in retail heaven, my boss had to push me to buy more clothes when she rang up the cute skirt and found out it rang up to five dollars! (original price: 49.95)
She literally told me “I’ll ring up slowly” and winked. It was like a race for my life, if my life were almost a 100% off and looked very street chic, I ran and grabbed items off racks like it was nothing, I didn’t even check the price tags at this point. Oh, and to add goodness to measure, I took forever in the fitting room because I’m a size 2 apparently, I know right? I thought I was a 6, but apparently I am a size 2, I couldn’t believe what the seams read, but I finally got all my correct sizes. Size small and size 2 in everything.
I feel good. I feel empowered. Forgiveness apparently has it’s pros… You get to decide when to and how-and feel like the bigger man for it. I bought my own clothes with no need to depend on a man for anything, there you have it girls: you can have your cake and drizzle it with raspberry sauce if you want to too!
My contentment right now = is like, beyond… (yeah, I miss Rachel Zoe too…)


[glass-beaded headband/Benoit Missolin-$357.52] dressing up for easter never seemed so non-juvenile...