I was told I was going to hell.
Yeah, you heard it.
Why you may ask...for living with my boyfriend without being married...
Apparently not bad people go to a fiery grave but people that don't announce their relationship to friends in family in a lavish ceremony are sinners and are damned to hell....according to a certain someone that I will not say.
Since when was babbling about your hubby & children the new brunch?
and since when it is totally vogue to get married young, move in together, and then have sex only to make babies? I mean, I feel like we're in the 1950's for chanel's sake! I always thought men were like cars, if you get one that is like a new car (ie. he's a virgin) he'll be even better in bed since he'll devote most of his attention to your pleasure instead of his own; but if you do get a used car,he better be damn good in bed since he's had experience on the road before...you'll want to make sure it never sputters on the road or breaks down or god forbid....a momma's boy. That's what I thought what moving in was about, getting to know the person more so you would know what was ahead along the road of relationship-dom. I mean why buy the car right away if you can test drive it...
It's suburbia...women in suburbia, for some reason, their only aspirations are to get married & have babies (and shop at babyGAP...ewww).
I remember living in san francisco, having no judgment passed upon me, in fact it's expected of me to not want kids, to live out my ambitions, to smoke & drink and to have sex freely whenever with whom ever (mainly just my bf....haha) without fear of damnation. I mean sure, the city had a plethora of religions- be it evangelistic or satanic. WE HAD IT ALL! Ahhh the city life seemed somehow less demanding even with it's deadlines and fast paced sidewalks near the local coffee shoppe (which was on every street corner). I mean, sf was the place to be unless you had kids and no job...then you move back to your ol' hicktown south of there.
As a fellow 'fashion enthusiast', people such as I do stumble upon a few devout religious sprites that claim the unthinkable:
getting married before moving in and before have sex!
There's that tainted word: marriage.
I hate that word. It means specifically that you love that person more than you love yourself there for you give it up, you give up everything to show the entire world you really mean it. You give up being pretty & fit and let yourself go, you give up your dreams to pop out a few puppies, you give up your ambitions to cook, clean, wash clothes and take care of your children & husband. You give up those late nights with the girls and oscar (insert your gay man here) to a night of burping babies and lazy over-weight husbands falling asleep to wheel of fortune. All for the glee of having their name on a honeymoon suite, on a wedding invite, on a customized bath towel...sounds kind of ridiculous to me. That's why I don't believe in that tripe.
I love my boyfriend, I really do, the past five years (yes ladies, count em-FIVE!!!) have been wonderful, and we're just at the point where we just know that this is it. ya know?
We take joy in shopping for mod-chic furniture at low low prices, finding antique lampshades and replacing our water filter frequently- but we know we're not ready for marriage. There's so much more out of life that we need that we just don't have yet....like a 51 inch screen tv & those blue satin brooch-ed manolos.
What I'm saying is...why spend a shitload of cash on an event to gloat about our love to people we don't like or hardly even know- so they can buy us candle holders from Pier 1 Imports? hahaha I think not.I prefer Barney's.
And I prefer my dreams to be reached, not hidden behind the ironing board closet. I prefer my relationship realistic & purely based on the love for each other, not love I must prove to some false god or to my parents or to whom ever. I prefer our love stays with us. Only us.I don't need a parade to show I care about him- I have him and that's all I need.
